Let’s talk about love, sex and the hookup culture that has been created in the past decade.  I have always found myself curious when some of my friends are so anti-relationship, not wanting to pry to much to upset them of why it “didn’t work out”. I did not understand it at first, but now I get it, 

we’ve lost touch with what it’s like to commit to just one person. 

Apparently, there are just too many fish in the sea to commit to one! Being that I was married at 19, and fully committed to a life-long relationship, I completely missed the boat for ‘one night stands’ and ‘flings’. In fact, back then I think dating was quite simple. The term “friends with benefits” had just been coined and usually those ‘friends’ just ended up becoming a couple, or being identified as one. It seems like today all friends have benefits and that doesn’t need to be declared. If I had to enter the dating scene now, I would be completely lost and confused. Sure, crushes existed in the 90’s but what happened to courting a woman. What happened to waiting at least a month or more to have sex with your romantic interest? Now, 

having sex on the first date is completely normal 

having sex with a stranger is completely normal

and it completely freaks me out that this is what my kids will be enduring in the future. Is this really what we want to preach to our future generations? Is this really healthy for one’s emotional well-being?

I think not. I’m not trying to pull a ‘Mom’ and lecture abstinence or marriage. It just makes me cringe to think youth today looks at this hookup culture as normal.

I recently watched a documentary on Netflix called Liberated: The New Sexual Revolution.  The video followed a handful of young men and women vacationing for spring break. Specifically, it detailed these individuals sexual preferences for a lack of commitment for any type of romantic relationship. The shocking part of it was how scary it was to be a woman, on spring break, surrounded by thousands of overly-horny dudes pumped full of adrenaline and testosterone. This documentary just had my jaw dropping too many times to count. Especially when they recounted the incident where 

a woman was raped on the beach in front of groups of people.

and no one did anything.

What is wrong with this picture? Well everything! The truth is that men are so used to women being ‘easy’ and willing for sex that when we are not, they are instantly turned off… sometimes angered, sometimes forceful. For the sake of women everywhere, it is never ever a woman’s fault. We can wear bikini’s, show cleavage, show legs, and should not be gawked at like a piece of meat. Sex is always a choice. Always was, and always has been a choice.

It’s time this is no longer a cringe worthy topic and talked about openly. There’s a rising divorce rate, birth rate, rape rate and let’s just throw in the domestic violence rate too while we are at it. If you have had sex on the first date, here’s where you get your wake up call. No one is pressuring you to have sex, if he or she doesn’t return your call for this reason, then SO BE IT.  That’s their wake up call, let them be lonely.

Let’s not completely miss the part about women and sexuality in our society. I’m referring  to the infamous knowledge that sex does, in fact, sell. It’s a debate of whether women should cover themselves, or if men are aroused, should they look away. Neither is the right answer, clearly, neither of them are realistic either.

I think what it comes down to is, in the words of Tina Turner, R E S P E C T. Have the respect to yourself to wait until you really have gotten to know that person. Have the respect to the other person of their boundaries.

Women have just finally come into an inspirational time of supporting one another. Encourage your friends to love themselves before loving any man. Support each other even in times of taboo talk and whatever you do, never discriminate another woman against these past events.

This is how we change the hook up culture ladies and gentleman. Romance and chivalry is not dead, it’s just hiding behind all of your screens.

Published in life lessons, sex & love
1 Comment
  1. Derek Mangayan 4 months ago

    Ever read Brave New World by Aldous Huxley? Because that book predicted the rise of Hookup culture.

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