In this world full of so much hate and violence, why are we so afraid to love?

why are we so afraid to love?

We have created this idea that love hurts. That to protect ourselves from being hurt, we must not allow ourselves to love. We stop loving, and we stop allowing others to love us.

This is not going to create a magical shield around our hearts. Because no matter how afraid you are to love, your mind and body will always crave that love. You will only be hurting yourself by not accepting the love that you need.

However, we accept the love that we think we deserve…

This statement is full of truth. When someone has tried to love several times, but was not loved back properly, they will start to think something is wrong with them. After so many heartbreaks, they’ll believe that they will never receive the love that they are giving. This makes them hopeless, and they figure if they are not meant to be loved, then maybe they should not love at all. This creates the idea that loving others will only leave you hurt in the end.

But this is not true. 

Some things are not meant to be, and they just do not fit together. If you put a star quarterback on the basketball team, they may not score a point. They may lose faith in themselves and think they are not an athlete. But get them out on the field, and they will realize that this is where they should have been all along. It will feel like home and everything will come together.

Relationships are not a basketball court or a football stadium, but they work pretty similar to this. If you keep trying with all of the wrong people, it will never work out. So just because you haven’t found your person, doesn’t mean that they do not exist. You are not unlovable, you are not doomed, and love is not pain.

Yes, when you love somebody, you will feel pain. You will feel pain when you fight with them and it hurts you to not be in a good place with them. You will feel pain when you miss them and you need them to come home. You will hurt from losing them to circumstances that are not under your control. When you love somebody, there are many instances when you will hurt because of that strong bond. But if you find the right love… The healthy, reciprocated love, you won’t ever hurt from the lack of it.

love is real

It makes me so sad when people tell me they do not want to love again. Loving will never leave you out in the cold, but trying to love the wrong people will. And this may seem scary, because you feel like you will never find the right person to love, but as soon as you meet them you will see it. When you only love someone, it is painful because you watch them not care. But when someone loves you back, you’ll know it. You will not only hear it in their words, but you will see them make an effort for you. If they love you, they will not want to hurt you and they will do anything to make it work.

Do not accept false love, and do not think of it as the only love.

Know that love is real and it is out there and it is not going to hurt you. Do not spend your life depriving yourself of what you deserve. Love always, even if you are not loved back.

Published in featured, sex & love

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