Have you ever just sat in a public place like a mall or coffee shop with the intention of people watching. I know I have. If you are anything like me I have always been highly interested in the nature of humanity. There is something so interesting about trying to understand what someone may be thinking, what they have been through, or what they are communicating with their body language. With all that being said I have something to confess. For me it hasn’t always been an innocent game of people watching. If I am being completely honest I would say that I am superficial, shallow, callous, and at times envious of others. Well, you may ask what do I mean by that? What I am saying is that my natural instinct when I come in contact with others is to judge them on what they are wearing, how they look, talk, or what they do, in an effort to make myself feel better. Not the most attractive trait right? For a long time I was very ashamed of this character trait and I thought something was wrong with me. However, if you are truly being honest I am sure you can relate.
i thought and believed for a very long time there was something was wrong with me
I felt ashamed of what I thought of other people. I am not sure where this guilt came from, maybe it was my upbringing or having this need to be perfect, but none the less it kept me from evolving. It truly was not until I came to understand that we all have characteristics that are less than perfect, that I had the ability to disarm those thoughts and could move forward. What I mean by that is you have a choice to redirect a thought and turn it into something beautiful. In reality, when we judge someone else it is really a reflection of what we think of ourselves and most of the time we do it as a natural reaction to qualify who we are. After learning to disarm beliefs I had about others I started to see how my world could open up.
when we prejudge someone we may miss out on a huge blessing. it can hinder us from experiencing joy at it’s purest form
Furthermore, when you step back and stop judging someone else you will actually find that you will be able to engage in any social situation without stress.
1.) When you leave judgment at the door you open your world up to a great blessing. – When we judge someone or a situation we are not seeing the full picture, but rather seeing the world with, shall we say more or less, beer goggles. It’s all fuzzy, blurry, and you have a hard time seeing the full picture. When judgment is removed from the equation you will be able to see all the small details, colors, and texture. Okay so that sounds a little abstract right? Let me give you an example in my own life at this moment.
For a long time I avoided organized religion and anyone associated with the church because of experiences I had in the past. So as a result I judged a whole group of people based on preconceived notions that were not true for each person. As soon as I was able to let these judgments go I actually started to feel more at ease and it allowed me to actually get healing in that area of my life. Furthermore, the sad thing is I know for a fact that I missed out on the blessing of a lot of friendships because I couldn’t let my judgment go.
2.) Dealing with judgment allows you to experience peace in the purest form. – I don’t know about you, but I used to worry about everything. As a result I dealt with high anxiety for a very long time. You know that feeling where your chest tightens up, you can barely breath, and you almost feel shaky? Well, that used to be my life. I worried about everything. I worried about if I was going to have enough money. I worried about what others were going to think of me. I worried that I would never go anywhere in life and I assure you the list could go on. What you may not realize is that worry is actually a result of a judgment produced from a prior situation or event in your life.
I believed that because my parents struggled with money I would never have money. I believed that I would never excel because someone had once told me once that the key to success was giving up everything. All of these ideas that I had were a result of a judgment. I didn’t see the full picture. The fact that my parents struggled with money was from decisions they had made and had no reflection on my life whatsoever. The person who told me the way to success, supposedly, had forgot to mention that there are very successful people in this world who did not have to give everything up. Once I gave up these preconceived ideas on how life works or “judgments” even about myself, I started to experience great peace and the worry that burdened my life went away.
3.) By letting judgment go you will able to walk in a room and not experience social anxiety. – Maybe social anxiety is something you have never experienced before, but it is something I am all too familiar with. I would walk into a room and almost every time freak out. You know, where you get the cold sweats, can barely speak, and run to the bathroom to calm yourself down. Yep, that was me. It was a very lonely place and so hard for me to connect with others. Looking back I can now tell you that a lot of the social anxiety that I felt was a result of a judgment. I wouldn’t talk to someone because of how they looked, dressed, and spoke.
For example, I remember walking into a room and feeling instant anxiety because of the other girls in the room. In my mind they were all much more attractive than me, dressed better, and smarter. So since I made that judgment I assumed they would not want to talk to me or be my friend. It finally occurred to me that it was a reflection that I was so worried about them judging me that I was in fact judging them. Today, I am able to walk into a room anxiety-free and start a conversation with anyone. If I am being honest with you those judgmental thoughts do still pop up, but as soon as I remind myself to let it go, the pressure that I start feel goes away.
have you ever judged someone only to find out you where completely wrong about them?
has someone ever judged you and then later told you that you were nothing like they originally thought?