But that isn’t what is most important; the journey to self love isn’t linear. Too often, individuals hear about the importance of self-love, self-esteem and self worth. What is more, the phrases continue with phrases such as:
-You can’t give love to others until you love yourself.
-The relationship you’re in with yourself is the most important.
-Love must start with you.
I don’t disagree with any of the phrases mentioned above. In fact, I couldn’t agree with them more. But the purpose of this article is to point out that it is okay to admit that even if you love yourself, it’s okay to not love yourself every second of the day. In my experience, the journey to self-love has been anything but linear. At my lowest point, there was nothing that I could say I truly loved about myself. The largest mistake I made at this time was contributing all of my self-love and worth to my physical appearance; but that was only as valuable as other’s validation of me. I understand now how harmful that was.
Acknowledging that meant I had to learn how to the love the parts of me that I hate the most. I had to love the most physically scarred parts of my body. These are the very parts that I hid from the world at all cost. I would go to the beach in long pants. I wore makeup to cover-up the most apparent scars and I kept those that I loved at arms length. I’ve come a very long way in the years since, but I’ll admit even with all of the progress made, I still have bad days, and I feel like not enough people are talking about that harsh reality. It’s an amazing feat to love yourself, but you’re also not a bad person if that love doesn’t come easily or naturally.
The truth is, if you’ve committed to loving yourself despite the negativity all around you, or society telling you that you’re not the most beautiful person in the world, you are my hero! You are stronger than me and you learned a lesson far earlier in life than I did. For those readers who are a bit more like me though, please hear me when I say this: you are not broken, you have value and I’m proud of you. The truth is, loving yourself is much harder than society tells us. They are quick to tell you that you have to love yourself, but not so forthcoming with the guidebook that helps you do it.
Forgive yourself if you have a bad day.
Be kind to yourself, even when you think you hate yourself in the moment.
Don’t be too harsh on yourself for having a weak moment or a negative fleeting thought.
And remember, you’re the best version of you there will ever be, so treat yourself like the king or queen that you are!Published in