“the road to success is never easy. there is more than one route to the top.”
We’ve all heard it a million times, but you never do believe it until you embark on your own journey. Until you reflect and realize how far you’ve come.
not even two years ago i started truly questioning the meaning of life
The relationship I was in turned so toxic I didn’t know if I was going to live to accomplish my goals and desires. I turned to God and asked for guidance and forgiveness; to show me mercy. Not even a week passed before I found the strength within myself to find a way to get help and back to MY life, where I was in control.
Being with a narcissist is like a real-life game of chess; but you’re always losing, always two moves behind. The mind games these people play settles into your weakest areas. Your insecurities and fears used as weapons to keep you trapped in their game. I was always told as a little girl that I am independent and will never rely on a man for anything. So why was that so hard to believe now? Contemplation revealing a fear I never knew conceivable; “what if I can lose myself in this thing we call, life?”
The question stuck for a few days. Days I used to look back on and cringe, now I can see the truth in the matter. Hope was bleak, I could feel the impending doom of the dire situation I was in. However, I was still praying some God would listen. I have never been entirely religious but I don’t think I’ve ever prayed as much as I did in those months as his captive. After being stabbed, beaten and almost choked to death there was a knock on the door. The police arrived with a warrant, details irrelevant. I finally realized the answer; moments are temporary and memories last forever.
Although I was with this awful person for months, (shit over two years!) That was not going to define me. Nor was that going to stop me from accomplishing my dreams.
I AM an independent, strong, intelligent woman who survived brutal and intense physical, emotional and sexual abuse. I will never feel ashamed of my past.
all of the events in my life are merely lessons
I knew the journey to wellness would be a long, and painful process but it’s so worth it. He went to jail, while I got help. I wondered who felt worse.
Being someone’s prisoner for months did not make it easy to assimilate back into regular life; the scars inflicted were deeper than the surface, reaching levels’ unknown to my conscious mind. Therapy helped but it’s difficult to open up to someone who hasn’t experienced what you have. I began practicing yoga and meditation regularly, to see if the natural healing arts of the past had anything to offer me. Yoga and meditation immediately made me feel more at ease with not only the relationship but every past affliction and repressed memory. I gathered the courage to go to school in Boca Raton, FL. The Zen Den Yoga School and the Guru’s who run it changed my entire perspective on life.
Find your voice
Be thankful for the past
Your experiences have constructed the person you are today
Remember everything happens for a reason
the road to a successful life isn’t easy, but damn it’s worth it.
We all have the strength and courage inside of us to stand up for what we deserve. Love should not hurt, I say #NOMORE, together we can end domestic violence and sexual assault.
This post was written in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Find out more info or call the crisis hotline if you or someone you know is suffering 919-828-7740Published in