I overheard a conversation over the last week that I admit was the inspiration behind this article. A friend was asked to describe her ideal relationship and partner and her answer was as follows:
“I want that whirlwhind, fairytale relationship. The be-all and end-all, take your breath away, time slows down kind of love. The ones that you read about in the most cherished books.”
I appreciate the vunerability and honesty of that answer and I know that it is her ideal relationship, but I’m afraid the relationship she described isn’t the one I’m searching for. I do want a once in a lifetime kind of love, but I don’t want the happily ever after I have read about.
I don’t want a smooth sailing relationship, I want a relationship that is built to weather the storm.
In the past year I have learned a lot about love, yes cliche I know, but it all stemmed from my own journey of self love. For too long I didn’t love myself, so I wasn’t ready to accept anyone else’s love for me. Things are different now though, and because I’ve learned to love all of who I was, I’ve realized that I deserve a once in a lifetime kind of love. So, what does that look like for me? I want someone to look at me as though nothing else matters. I want to wake up and go to sleep knowing, without a shred of doubt, that I am loved beyond compare. I want to sit across from that one person and share the best and worst parts of my day with. More than anything, I want longevity.
Too often, I see couples who are good for each other and bring out the best in each other, but for various reasons, they give up on the relationship. Look, I get it, life is tough and sometimes even despite your best efforts, relationships fail. But my ideal relationship is the very one that is meant to weather the storm; that survives the winds ripping at the sails. While conflict can certainly drive couples apart, I believe with conflict can also come growth, and this is what I’m looking for.
Don’t run away when things get tough.
Talk to me even when we’re mad at one another.
Be patient, and when that’s difficult, remember to be kind.
At this point in my life I know a relationship worth having isn’t going to come without price. I am willing to pay the price, to pay my dues and put in the work… are you?Published in