In a recent post, I bore my soul about how I’ve never been in love. Now that we’ve gotten that over with, I want to offer some advice. Advice that I wish a lot of men I’ve dated (seriously or not) would have known before becoming involved with me. Advice that may seem selfish, and can be taken with a grain of salt, but is meant to help you understand why people like me are the way that they are.
Everybody is delicate, but those who have never been in love are even more delicate. That’s why I advise you keep in mind a few things when dating someone who’s never been in love.
Giving your heart away is not easy when you’ve never given it. I can come up with a million and one reasons why I shouldn’t, and I will use those reasons against you – please bear with me.
I only wait because I want to be sure. Unquestionably, unwaveringly certain. That you are the one I want to give my heart to. When you finally do get it, it will mean that much more.
As I said, I am delicate. I break easily. I question my feelings, your feelings, our relationship. My insecurities can be unbearable at times, but they’re not entirely misplaced. It’s incredibly hard to give your heart away when you don’t know how bad it’s going to hurt when someone breaks it.
Don’t go down that road with me unless you are positive it’s what you want.
Someone like me is probably better at being alone and enjoys their independence. Loves their spaces and makes plans for them. Do your best to respect that. Going from being the CEO of your life to a co-owner can be off-putting at first. Let me ease into it.
Being flexible with my needs will help build a stronger relationship long-term instead of resentment for encroaching on my “space”.
The best thing you can do for me is to be confident in your love for me. Love me unconditionally, wholeheartedly, and tell me why you love me. If I can trust you and your love, I will trust myself when I fall in love with you. To make my insecurities disappear, you must make me feel secure.
Confidence in how you feel about me will encourage confidence in how I feel about you.
let me down easy
Not every instance of love is going to work out for both of us, and I get that. It’s been in the back of my mind since our first date, but if you have to break my heart, break it gently, and break it clean. Don’t string me along or keep coming back. I won’t be able to handle it.
Remember what it was like when your first love broke your heart, and do it better.
Looking at this list can make falling in love with someone who’s never been in love before seem like a chore. Like a drag. Like a lot of work for very little return. When in fact, the return is great. You will be her first love. Maybe even her only love. That’s a title only you can hold, and that means everything. So go for it.Published in