have you ever wanted to just be happy?

Happily in love.
Happy in one’s career.
Happy for this that and everything in between.

I think that is something we all want and maybe even some strive for in their day to day lives. Happiness can’t be an emotion one feels all the time because there are so many other emotions that fill us at any given time in our lives. It depends on any situation and the way it makes us feel. Actions of our own and also by others are what will bring whatever emotion we are known to feel in our life.

life is no fairy tale

As most children, we grow up expecting that one day we will meet the person of our dreams. We are taught at a young age that when one becomes an adult we meet the love of their life. We get married, have an amazing career, have 1 to 3 children and are happy with this life until the end. Little do we know that this is not accurate at all. A study was done and analysis shows that most people have 2 true loves in their lifetime. All the other so-called loves we think we have are simply emotions engulfing our ideal of the life we envision ourselves having.

In my personal opinion, I think this number is low depending on the type of person you are. Take me for example, a 26-year-old guy, who is known for wearing his heart on his sleeve and giving it out when any opportunity sparks. I’ve had my fair share of heartaches and heartbreaks. I can recall being so upset over the way someone made me feel that it made my soul weak and my stomach twist-tied in knots. I remember laying down in bed with tears rolling down into my ears thinking “Wow, I’m I really this guy? What did I do? How could this have been different?” It never honestly dawned on me at the time and I’m sure on many of you that things weren’t supposed to be different. These people and situations and emotions were meant to happen the way they did in order to create the people we call ourselves today. This brings me back to what I said in my previous paragraph; We are stuck with the idea that we are supposed to “happy” in our adult lives. When this doesn’t happen we automatically feel defeated.

“How can a young man, in his twenties, beat himself up for not having happiness? This isn’t how life is at all” (I can just imagine you all must be thinking this.) I wasn’t aware that life had so much more to offer. It didn’t really hit me until I heard a quote on TV. “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else? Can I get an Amen?” I never really thought of this before. I had heard the quote, but being in such a vulnerable place I processed what I heard a little differently. I began looking up self-love quotes, from there found poems and books about embracing one’s true self. I realized that the idea of love that I learned from such an early age wasn’t the way life worked. We are humans, people with emotions galore and if we can’t love ourselves then who are we to have a perfect idea of love anyways?

love yourself first

I, of course, had and still have setbacks where I meet someone or somebody comes back into my life from my past and there is my heart dangling from my sleeve like no big deal. Knowing what I know and being who I am now, I’ve definitely grown maturity wise and how I handle my happiness. This goes towards any situation in life, not only with love but relationships personally or professionally, also in my career, where I stand financially, and including my family. I’ve had my trials and tribulations. Taken one step forward and taken ten steps back. Whatever the case or situation may be, I have a lot of growing still to do in regards to the life I live. I’ve found that I can now look at all angles of any situation when it comes to happiness and unhappiness and decipher if what I put myself would be worth it in the long run. The saying goes, there are two sides to every story, but if you think about it, the life we are living isn’t only 2 sided. I’m no guru on how to handle any situation when it comes to love and self-love but what I do know is that if you can teach yourself to see at least one spec of positivity from any situation, then maybe the journey to finding love in and out of ourselves will be that much more worth our while.

Let me know your opinion on love and self-love. I’d love to get your take on what I’ve discussed above. Who know’s maybe you’ll have some great advice or input on the topic.

For now. Toodles. Patrick C.

Published in featured, life lessons
1 Comment
  1. Rob 7 months ago

    You are a wise one, Patrick. You have it figured out way earlier than I did at your age. I think it’s awesome that you are opening up yourself to share, teach and possibly comfort someone else having those same thoughts . Keep it up!

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