Being in a dark pit of your own despair is no doubt a hard place to be. Not being accountable for your own actions that put you there, only makes the pit darker. Dwelling on the darkness (how this or that is wrong), only makes it a taller of a climb to get out.
Lately, I’ve heard the term “throwing someone under the bus”…well this makes the dark pit just seem comfortable because you deflect away from your actions. Also, your actions put you in the path of the bus, to begin with. Pulling others into your pit when you haven’t conquered your own dark pit is just NOT what we as humans should be doing. Others aren’t always in the position to yet receive help or to learn about what keeps them in the pit. Not that it’s not good to help others. If you are not sure footed or grounded, how can you help?
*Side note* using substances that may make you feel good or momentarily stop your thoughts only does more harm to you, your healing process, and your loved ones. I have seen and know the effects of alcohol and drugs. It is a mask used to help us either speak our minds when we think we can’t or chill out to not say anything. It doesn’t help! Those you are speaking your mind to, don’t listen to what you are saying because they are just seeing you as drunk or stoned.
Though I like a good mixed drink occasionally, I like my limits as well. You have to learn who is safe to speak to and who is not. Getting your feelings out without hurting others is a dangerous game of hopscotch. But one that needs to be taken, even if life changes because of it. If you are not happy and you don’t know why the comfort you think you have isn’t resonating peace within you, then a change has to happen. Get help, if you don’t know how to help yourself.
there is hope
First, you have to help yourself, think of yourself, most importantly love yourself. You do have to fill your own self up before you pass it along to others. Release the unforgiveness and guilt that you carry and start each day as new. Otherwise, you will not be renewed enough to help those you are trying to help and you will be left exhausted.
This is not being selfish. Being selfish is only thinking of yourself and not helping others. Being selfish, by not accepting your own faults, but point out everyone else’s flaws out through complaining. Being selfish blames others, instead of looking at your own accountability. You can start seeing the light above the pit when you face your own demons and make peace with your soul.
- Make lessons out of the pit.
- Recognize the unhappiness that took you there.
- Understand to start with, there must be a change that has to happen to YOU to get you out of the pit.
- No one else is to blame or responsible for your own actions and thoughts.
- Know your triggers or the thoughts that sent you to a dark pit, to begin with.
- Create warning signs for you to LISTEN TO, that is important.
Sometimes the trigger that sends us into a downward spiral, is that we don’t connect to how that trigger is something that you haven’t yet dealt with for yourself. Treasures of jewels and gold can be gathered even in the pit. Sometimes this is the most beautiful treasures to be found because of the pressing of the pit when you let light in, it transforms the jewel from just a rock to a glistening jewel.
I only speak from my own experience with this dark pit area. Through enduring, I learned to scrape, claw, and climb my way out. I learned to lean on God when I was weak. I feel that he did give me the strength to continue. I released control, as this is the hardest lessons to learn. I don’t have to be right or wrong all the time. I spend time in doing the best me I can be with God’s love working through me. I can share that feeling with others with no condemnation. The process I learned to recognize warning signs, love myself, and who is really in my corner. I surround myself with people that uplift me, encourage me to be better, and gently correct me when I’m wrong. Not people that can walk the journey FOR me but alongside me. I truly feel that this is what God intended for humans; to be alongside each other. Helping each other is great, for sure. Being taught by each other how to do for yourself is better. This helps us grow and help others that might be still in a pit. We are all in a self-made pit a time or two (or more) in our lives. You aren’t alone in that.
You know what? I’m not an expert or perfect, but gracefully I grew wings. Now with God’s help, I can fly over the pits with ease. I only try to be a beacon to others showing that it is possible to see a beautiful blue sky and not have to worry about stepping into a dark pit. However, your lessons are yours to learn.
~Love your journey.Published in