Forgetting my worth. Remembering the hurt. This all too surreal. Pain is what I gain. My broken pieces remain. Scattered in the dust. I need to strive for better as that is a must but this is what misery lusts. 

I just feel like…

Broken shattered nothingness

I wish I couldn’t feel

Cold. Alone. Weeping the sadness. Enduring the madness. I wish this wasn’t real.

Used and abused. Devalued by your eyes. Your unwelcomed touch is what I despise. I am a person with emotions. So deep, it fills oceans. I am a woman with a mind. Too far advanced for your kind. Pay no attention as I’m under remission. Piecing myself together with blood filled eyes. I’ve lost all of my guides.

I just feel like…

Broken shattered nothingness

I wish I couldn’t feel

Cold. Alone. Weeping the sadness. Enduring the madness. I wish this wasn’t real.

This degrading invasion, I didn’t invite you. Pin me up against the wall, I will fight you. Your hand covers my mouth, preventing me to shout. Your other hand prowling my body. Disgracing me with your violations. With venom filled words, voicing you can’t control your actions. You’re a predator in the most wicked way. You named me as your prey. As I lay black and blue, it’s a shame that I knew you.

I just feel like…

Broken shattered nothingness

I wish I couldn’t feel

Cold. Alone. Weeping the sadness. Enduring the madness. I wish this wasn’t real.

Bleak

Blue

Bleeding

Broken

Screaming

Scrapping

Shearing

Shattered

Numb

Naked

Nullity

Nothingness 

Published in poems
2 Comments
  1. TK Dennis 2 weeks ago

    Thank you for sharing Jen.

    It take’s a brave person to share how they’ve been hurt.

    Hang in there. Just remember, you’re awesome, important, and one-of-a-kind. There will never be a copy of you in this world, so keep being yourself!

    • Author
      Jen Van Houten 2 weeks ago

      Thank you! I was raped when I was 19. Never really talked about it up until a few months ago. I overcame it, though. I wrote this for others who have been in the same situation as I. Being able to identify what it made them feel like and or currently feeling like. Write something that is relatable to them.

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